Crying on the Kitchen Floor
Audiobook

Crying on the Kitchen Floor, by Trisha Paytas

By Trisha Paytas

🎧 10 hours 📘 Simon & Schuster Audio UK 📅 10 November 2026 🌐 English

About this Audiobook

From THE Trisha Paytas comes a raw and uproarious memoir that finally sets the story straight.

No person has reinvented themselves more times than Trisha Paytas. Like a phoenix, she has risen from the ashes again and again – outliving social media platforms, navigating ill-fated and explosively popular podcasts and being on the wrong end of more messy feuds than she can count. As one of the world’s first influencers, she helped create the blueprint for a new kind of celebrity. But across a career marked by both dizzying highs and earth-shattering lows, one thing has remained unclear: What the hell was she thinking?

In Crying on the Kitchen Floor, Trisha sets out to answer this question once and for all by opening up like never before. She recounts in vivid, shocking detail how an insatiable need for fame led a quiet girl from the suburbs to life on the seedy streets of Hollywood. From dangerous encounters with potential serial killers, to abusive relationships with former child stars, infinite reality TV cameos, and ultimately, taking over the internet, Trisha’s desperate search for identity nearly cost her everything. Yet, after decades spent battling mental health issues and weathering endless cancellations, she somehow managed to fight her way to high ground as the world she helped build transformed beneath her feet.

Whether you’re a lifelong Trisha stan, or simply a child of the internet trying to make sense of the past three decades, this is a can’t-miss read from a true icon of our digital age.

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Clara’s Verdict

I am going to be straight with you, because the alternative is to spin atmosphere around a listing that contains almost nothing. Crying on the Kitchen Floor by Trisha Paytas arrives with a title, an author name and very little else. No description. No narrator credit. No runtime. No publisher. No release date. No rating and no reviews. A thin listing is usually still workable, because the shape of the gaps tells you something. This one is close to a blank page, and I cannot tell you what the audiobook is about.

So let me review the only text I have actually been given, which is the title, and take it seriously, because titles are the most carefully worked sentences in publishing. This one is doing three things at once. It puts you in a room, and specifically the room where we conduct the unglamorous business of daily life rather than the room where we entertain. It uses the present participle, so you are inside the act rather than looking back at it from safety. And it says the kitchen floor, not a kitchen floor, which quietly assumes you have been there yourself. That is a confessional register, promising proximity rather than perspective, and it sets an expectation the book will either meet or fail on its own terms.

About the Audiobook

Every field I would ordinarily use to help you decide is empty, so let me at least explain what each absence costs you, because they are not equivalent.

The missing runtime is the one I would want most. Length tells you the form: a piece of ninety minutes is an essay or a monologue, and a piece of nine hours is a full memoir with a structure and an arc. Those demand entirely different states of attention, and a title as raw as this one could plausibly be either. Without a duration you cannot plan the listen and you cannot calibrate what you are walking into.

The missing publisher costs you a second kind of inference. Publishers are shorthand for production standards, and knowing whether a book came from a large house, an audio specialist or an independent operation tells you roughly what to expect from the recording, the editing and the direction. With that field blank, the sample is your only evidence about the audio quality itself.

The missing release date removes your sense of where the book sits in time, which for personal writing matters more than people think. A memoir written close to the events it describes reads differently from one written a decade later, and a listener has no way to place this one. And the missing description leaves the form itself undetermined. On the strength of the title alone, this could be a memoir, a collection of essays, a comic monologue about the indignities of adult life, or something considerably darker. All four are plausible readings, which is a compliment to the title and a problem for the listing.

I want to be fair about where the fault lies. A poorly populated listing is a cataloguing failure, not a literary one. Books with excellent audio editions end up with blank metadata all the time, particularly when they arrive through independent channels. None of this is evidence against the book. It is simply evidence that the listing is not yet doing its job.

The Narration

For a title pitched at this level of intimacy, the reader is not a delivery mechanism but the entire proposition. This listing does not say who it is. A confessional first-person book read by its author is a different artefact from the same text read by a professional. The author brings the thing no performance can fake, which is having been on the floor. A hired reader brings craft, control and consistency, and holds the material at a distance that some listeners will find a relief and others will find fatal to the point of the book.

Since the listing will not say which of the two it is, I can only tell you what to establish before you begin. Find out who is reading, because with this title that single fact will determine most of your experience. If it is the author, expect unevenness and immediacy, and accept the trade. If it is not, expect a smoother recording and ask yourself whether smoothness is what you wanted from a book called Crying on the Kitchen Floor. There is no wrong answer, but there is a wrong assumption, which is that it will not matter.

What Readers Say

Nothing at all, and that deserves careful reading rather than a shrug. The score is blank, the rating count is blank, and not one listener has written a word. And since no date is attached either, there is no way to know whether that silence is the ordinary quiet of something published last week or the more meaningful quiet of something that has been out for a year without attracting comment. Those two situations look identical in the data and mean opposite things.

An empty review field is not a bad review. It is the absence of a signal, and the only honest response is to say so and to send you to the opening minutes instead of to the crowd. If you were hoping I could report that thousands of listeners loved it, or that they did not, this listing gives me nothing to work with in either direction.

Who Should Listen?

A recommendation I cannot support is worth nothing to you, so let me hand you a decision procedure instead. If the author’s name already means something to you, the title tells you the emotional register clearly enough and you will not need my help. If you are coming to the name cold, treat this as a genuine unknown, and settle the runtime and the narrator questions before you decide anything.

Hold back if you like to know what you are committing to. There is no runtime to plan around and no independent verdict to weigh, so a decision made here is made very nearly blind. A confessional title with no description and no reviews asks you to take it entirely on faith, and faith is a perfectly reasonable thing to extend, as long as you know that is what you are doing.

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Frequently asked questions

How long is the Crying on the Kitchen Floor audiobook?

The unabridged audiobook runs for 10 hours.

Can I listen to Crying on the Kitchen Floor for free?

Yes: new Audible UK members get a 30-day free trial with 1 credit, enough for this audiobook whatever its retail price. Our free audiobooks guide lists every other legal option.

Crying on the Kitchen Floor

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Clara Whitmore

By Clara Whitmore

Founder & Literary Critic