Clara’s Verdict
Vampires had been done to death long before Terry Pratchett got to them, which is precisely why Carpe Jugulum is such a treat. His Magpyr family are not brooding gothic aristocrats but something far funnier and more modern: sleek, faintly insufferable, and entirely convinced that the old superstitions no longer apply to them. Watching that self assurance collide with the witches of Lancre is one of the great pleasures of the later Discworld.
This is the twenty third Discworld novel and the sixth to centre on the witches, and it finds Pratchett in a reflective, slyly theological mood. Beneath the comedy of waistcoats and cocktail manners runs a genuine argument about belief, sin, and the danger of treating people as things. Granny Weatherwax has rarely been better, and I found myself moved quite as often as I was amused.
It is also, quietly, a book about faith and doubt. Granny Weatherwax spends much of the story wrestling with her own certainties, and the priest drawn into the conflict lets Pratchett poke gently at questions of belief without ever turning cruel. That undertow of real feeling is what lifts the novel well above simple parody.
About the Audiobook
Vampires have come to Lancre, and they are not at all the vampires you expect. The Magpyrs drink blood and regard humans as dinner, but they are sophisticated and stylish, fond of fancy waistcoats, and entirely unbothered by garlic. Freshly out of the casket, they want a bite of the future, and they have set their sights on the small mountain kingdom of Lancre.
Standing between the family and their ambitions is a coven of four: Granny Weatherwax, Nanny Ogg, Magrat, and young Agnes, none of whom take kindly to murderous house guests. The title, as Agnes works out, translates roughly as go for the throat, and the story lives up to it. As the twenty third book in the series it rewards long time readers, though Pratchett insists as ever that you may listen to the Discworld novels in any order you please.
The Magpyrs are a genuinely clever creation, vampires who have trained themselves out of every traditional weakness and reduced the local people to little more than livestock. Their confidence is the whole point, and watching the witches chip away at it, with stubbornness rather than stakes, is enormously satisfying. As one reviewer notes, it begins when the King of Lancre welcomes a new daughter and issues invitations to the naming, making the fatal mistake of including a family of aristocratic vampires.
The Narration
Indira Varma narrates across eleven hours and thirty six minutes, and she is a wonderful choice for a witches novel. She gives Granny her flint, Nanny her warmth, and the Magpyrs their smooth, self satisfied menace, moving between the three registers with real control and never letting the large cast blur together.
As with the rest of this Penguin Audio series, the production is generous. Bill Nighy delivers the footnotes with dry relish, Peter Serafinowicz lends Death his unmistakable gravity, and Steven Cree voices the Nac Mac Feegles with gleeful abandon. James Hannigan’s theme ties it all together, and across nearly twelve hours the whole thing feels beautifully and thoughtfully cast.
Over its near twelve hours the production never once loses its footing, and the shifting registers of comedy and menace are held in careful balance from the first minute to the last.
What Readers Say
Listeners have given the audiobook an average of 4.7 stars from 6 ratings, and the reviews are full of affection. One reader called it one of their favourites in the whole series and set out the premise with obvious delight: a family of vampires wishing to move into Lancre, and the local witches who most certainly do not like the idea.
Another offered a piece of folklore wisdom, that you should never issue an invitation to a vampire, and praised the way Pratchett fills the Disc with creatures from myth and fantasy alongside ordinary humans. A more recent reviewer simply called it a Discworld masterpiece, while a four star note recommends it warmly to anyone who already enjoys the series. The word that recurs most often is humour, closely followed by recommend.
What comes through again and again is how re readable listeners find it. More than one reviewer describes returning to the book, or buying a fresh copy simply to have it to hand, and the affection for the witches in particular is unmistakable. For a comic fantasy about vampires, it inspires a remarkable amount of loyalty.
Who Should Listen?
Reach for this if you love a clever comic fantasy with real ideas beneath the jokes, if the witches are your favourite corner of the Disc, or if you simply want a vampire story that refuses to take itself seriously. It works for seasoned readers and for the merely curious alike, and it makes especially good company on a dark and blustery evening.
If a coven of four against a family of insufferably modern vampires appeals to you, you can Listen to Carpe Jugulum on Audible and find out exactly whose throat gets got.
